The World According to Keitho

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Festivus: A holiday for the restuvus!

Posted by keithosaunders on December 22, 2009

In keeping with the holiday of festivus I will commence with the airing of the grievances:

1) Goldman Sachs and their ilk destroyed the economy yet their employees received seven-figure bonuses.  In all my years of being a jazz musician — over  30 —  I have received exactly one bonus….for $25.00.  And I loved it!

2) My pattern of baldness.  I have just enough hair not to want to shave my head, but little enough that even Ansel Adams couldn’t make me look good in a photograph.

3) I never got a dinner.
 
4) Where were the cougars when I was 18?!  God damnit! 

5)  I lack a good ice cream scooping technique.

6) Too many chords in original Milestones.

7) Not enough chords in the second Milestones.

8) I’m sick of George Winston style tinkly piano chords used to denote pathos in movies.
 
9) Where are the nude jazz clubs?

10) Not enough humor in ballet.

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One Response to “Festivus: A holiday for the restuvus!”

  1. honjii said

    For several years when I get the inevitable questions about Christmas I tell people I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I do celebrate Festivus. I’ve even included that as an option on my generic politically correct card

    Sounds like you might be hearing my drummer, I’m adding you to my blogroll.

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