Posted by keithosaunders on February 14, 2010
You may not realize it by our gruff exteriors, but us musicians are a fragile bunch. Our egos are akin to high performance sports car,requiring constant attention. This self-esteem, or lack thereof, needs to be tweaked and kept in tune. To this end, I have to say that you, the audience, do not always do your job.
I will grant you, kind reader and prospective audience member, that not every venue demands the rapt attention of, say, a Carnegie Hall, but c’mon — a little applause between shovelling in that linguine and swilling down that house wine wouldn’t kill you. Here we are — the musicians — and we’re giving, and we’re giving, and we’re giving some more. What the hell are you doing to add to the urbane experience?! Are you bringing your A game or are you merely phoning it in?
The musicians understand, however, that there are times when we are going to have to self-medicate, and by this I don’t necessarily mean getting loaded. Let me offer an example. The song ends — a beautiful, introspective ballad replete with verse, solos, and coda.
What do we do? I’ll tell you what we do. Piano player turns to the bass player and.using his best hipster voice…”Yeahhhhhh.”
At this point you might be thinking “how pathetic.” You’re wrong. Somebody has to say some fuckin’ thing! If it’s not you it will have to be one of us. The band I play with on Thursdays and Sundays has found the perfect solution. After the song ends if there is no applause, or just a little applause, we turn to each other and say “BASTARDS!” Very cathartic. I’m surprised more cats don’t use this one.