Breaking news: Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade to miss the 2010-2011 season!
Posted by keithosaunders on July 9, 2010
The Associated press reports:
The Miami Heat announced this morning that Chris Bosh & Dwyane Wade may miss the 2010 -2011 season when they were discovered early this morning dazed and confused with multiple leg fractures crawling along a drainage ditch adjacent to the New Jersey Turnpike. In an unrelated matter, Lebron James announced that he will host a one hour special on ESPN next Thursday night at 9 ET entitled “What’s Next?” It will be broadcast live from the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. For those who can’t get to Newark, it will also be shown on a 500 foot Diamondvision that will be set up on the construction site of the Nets’ new arena in Brooklyn.
In yet another odd companion story, Russian billionaire, Nikolai Prokhorov announced one of the biggest real estate deals in modern times with the revelation that he has purchased Akron, Ohio. The mayor could not be reached for comment. In fact, the mayor could not be reached at all.
Coincidentally, the deputy mayor was found this morning floating face down in the Ohio River. The governor immediately appointed a new deputy mayor, Svetlana Prokhorov. When reached for comment, Ms. Prokhorov would only say, “I am da winnah”.
Later this morning, the New Jersey Nets announced that tickets for the upcoming NBA season would go on sale sooner than had been expected——tomorrow. Tickets can be purchased at the Prudential Center box office or by going online and visiting their brand new web site: www.itaintovernyet.org