The World According to Keitho

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Leviathan

Posted by keithosaunders on August 1, 2010

I was just saying to a friend of mine, “If only the Yankees had more left-handed power.  Then maybe, just maybe they could win a pennant.”  Lance Berkman, a switch hitter, should enjoy the friendly confines of that marble-infested ball orchard known as Yankee Stadium, and he should be able to ride his current hot streak to that inevitable parade down the canyon of heros. 

How fortunate for Berkman that he actually wanted to play for the Yankees!  Any old player can help a small market franchise to the World Series.  Players such as Kirby Puckett, Carl Crawford, and Josh Beckett (when he was a Marlin) are a dime a dozen, but it takes a player with intestinal fortitude to want to contribute to a team that has already won 27 world championships and is a favorite to win their 28th.  Now that takes guts!  

I’m so happy that Berkman was reunited with his old friend Andy Pettitte.  The thought of those two peas in a pod being separated had me crying myself to sleep for the first four months of this season.  Now that they are reunited they can reminisce about the bad old days in Houston.  It’s too bad that their old friend Roger Clemons is disgraced as a bat-throwing roid-raging freak.  Otherwise he might be able to join them, forming a modern-day three amigos.   

The grreat thing about the Yankee’s plan is that if fist baseman Mark Texeira gets hurt the Yankees have a perfect replacement in Berkman.  If Berkman gets hurt (god fobid)  they can trade for Justin Morneau or Prince Fielder.  One or the other ought to be able to get them through to the tough times until Ike Davis is free agent eligible.  That’s the beauty! 

I used to resent the Yankees but I’ve come around.  Now I hate the small market teams who jealously horde their yearly windfalls from the luxery taxes as a result of Yankee spending.  After all, why shouldn’t the Kansas City Royals, a team that earns 1/9 of the Yankees, spend the same amount as them to keep up?  Shame on them!  If they can’t stand the heat they should get the hell out of baseball’s kitchen.  I’m for an eight team league in which every team makes the playoffs with a best of nine series so that there can be plenty of TV money.  I want Buck and Tim to do every game. 

What a guy!

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