The World According to Keitho

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It’s a twister!

Posted by keithosaunders on September 20, 2010

Last week a tornado blew through Queens, Brooklyn, and Staten Island.  It did major damage in Queens and Brooklyn — there were many downed trees and one fatality in Queens.   There were many amateur videos.  Here in Berkeley, California I was receiving continual updates and photos on both my facebook and twitter feeds.  It felt strange to be experiencing this event almost in real-time from so far away.

As I was checking out my twitter feed I noticed that someone had actually registered Bklyntornado as a user name and was posting as if he/she was the tornado.  I have to say, these tweets were hilarious.  So without further adieu I give you…the Brooklyn Tornado.

Got a couple fancy strollers in my funnel!

Hanging out in somewhere called “Bushwick”? We’re definitely not in Kansas anymore. I’ve never terrorized so many minorities!

What’s up with ‘Fort Greene’? Is there actually a fort there? Not anymore! (Cuz I blew it over. LOL.)

Everyone is describing me; let me describe you: “OMG, a Tornado!” [Pulls out smartphone, starts tweeting. Hit by flying lawn chair.]

Just got a call from Good Morning America. They want to know if I injured any attractive white women they could have on their show tomorrow.

Got this mosque stuck in my funnel. Not sure how many blocks away from Ground Zero I should set it down.

Uh oh. RT @SarahPalinUSA Pls, @BKLYNTornado. Its Ur Right 2 put down mosque, but is UNNECESSARY. Keep terror temple in ur funnel 4ever.

New Yorkers are pussies. In Kansas people would be THANKING me right now. RT @shellybhushan effed up evening. thanks @bklyntornado

My funnel smells like horseshit. Can someone make sure I didn’t suck up Carl Paladino?

Religious leaders say I hit New York because of all the gays. Not true. I hit it because of all the Jews. KIDDING! KIDDING!

My one regret: Not sucking up Larry King and hanging him by his suspenders from the Empire State Building’s antenna. Always been a dream.

You can follow me at my regular account: @OminousLowPressureSystem.

And now I’m off! Back into Zeus’ asshole! (That’s where tornadoes come from.)

Gooodddd byeeeee newwwww yorrrrkkkkkkkk. Getttt sommmeee fuckkkiinnnggg tornadoooooo sireeeeennnnnssss orrrrr yourrr gonnnnaaa dieeeeee

This is sad: New Yorkers don’t believe in me. Now I know how the Mets feel. 😦

 

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One Response to “It’s a twister!”

  1. bkivey said

    Keith,

    Thanks for sharing the twitter feed from Bklyntornado. Hi-larious! Thanks also for sharing the page with the videos. The third one down is a good image of what the sky looks like immediatly prior to a tornado – green and ugly. I’ve seen the green sky once: in St. Petersburg in 1992 right before a storm came in off the Gulf and demolished a trailer park. Those things are tornado magnets.

    Blair

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