The World According to Keitho

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2011 baseball preview: AL picks and pans

Posted by keithosaunders on March 29, 2011

Two more days remain until the start of the 2011 baseball season.  This can only mean one thing:  It’s time for Keitho’s first annual baseball predictions.

Now anyone can predict.  I easily predicted that San Diego State would win the NCAA tournament.  How did that work out? 

Without further ado I give you a slanted, pinko-commie view of my hopes and dreams — my pet peeves and annoyances.  I shall begin with…

The AL West

Oakland all the way — East Bay rules!  This year, with the addition of has-been Hideki Matsui, never-been Josh Willingham, a good young pitching staff, and a return to the gold uniform top of yore, the As could well contend for the division.  I give them points off, however, for having Brian Fuentes.  I’m looking forward to riding that nutty BART train down to the Coliseum from North Berkeley, and having my pick of seats in the empty old dump of a stadium that is the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum.  No sushi there — working class, baby! 

Texas is still plenty good and could well contend, even without Cliff Lee.  I like their wacky run and gun style, as well as the cut of their gib.

I like the Angels even though they play in Republican Anaheim.  Their time of relevance, however, has passed. 

The Mariners play in a progressive city.  Unfortunately their team is from hunger. 


 The Al Central

This division has some classic old teams in it, but this year I have a hardon for the Chicago Whitesox.  If Peavy — that brittle bum — can get healthy they are going to be tough.  Check out this list of animals in the same lineup: 

Adam Dunn

Paul Konerko

Carols Quentin

Alex Rios

 I hate the Twins.  For years now they have been screwing up the playoffs after having had solid regular seasons.  Hey Minny, can you beat the Yankees one time?!  Look at Texas, Anaheim, and Detroit.  All of those teams succeeded where you failed miserably.  You suck. 

I like Detroit.  There’s a lot of talent on this team.  Miggy Cabrerra may be a fat tub of goo and a degenerate alchy, but let’s face it, the man can hit.  If V-Mart’s and Mags Ordonez’s, AARP cards hold out, and they get good years out of Verlander, Scherzer, and Penny, who knows… wild card?   Godspeed.


Will the Royals ever get good again?  For years they were a dominant AL West team.  Now look at them.  I SAID LOOK AT THEM!  Jeff Francis and Luke Hochevar are solid arms, and Joakim Soria is a premier closer.Let’s now examine their starting lineup… 

Mike Aviles, Billy Butler, Alex Gordon, Jeff Francoeur….. 

JEFF FRANCOEUR?!  Forget about them.  Next.

The Cleveland Indians.  I like them but…moving on.

The AL East 

What’s that sound I hear?  It sounds like wheelchairs and walkers in need of oiling.  Why it’s the 2011 Yankees!  The only running that Jeter, Posada, and ARod will be doing this year is to the early bird special when they play in Tampa.  Notice I didn’t throw in Mariano with that bunch.  For some reason he never gets old.  In fairness, Texiera, Cano, and yes,  Arod, are premier hitters.  But come on — there’s a lot of arthritic bones on this squad —   Oldsters such as Andruw Jones, Bartolo Colon, and Damaso Marte will be roaming the streets of New York, asking for directions to the Bronx.

I’m getting sick of Boston’s act too, but it’s impossible to deny that with the addition of Adrian Gonzalez, Bobby Jenks, and Carl Crawford, they’re going to be a tough out.  The only thing standing in their way is injuries.  

There’s a lot of talent on Toronto.  They also have a great hot dog stand out there called Shopsies.

Has there been a better story than the Rays these past few years?  An orginzation that was once the laughing-stock of the league has transformed themselves into one of the better teams, not to mention a producer of young talent.  I hope they can contend without Crawford.

The Orioles stink.

There you have it.  Tomorrow we’ll go over the National League, and Wednesday we’ll review weights and measures.


3 Responses to “2011 baseball preview: AL picks and pans”

  1. bkivey said

    It’s a measure of the state of the Mariners that the expected .500 season this year is seen as a major improvement. The farm system seems to be producing some quality players and the front office has made some good trades, but it remains to be seen if the kids can become quality everyday players. Very disappointed that the infield remains essentially unchanged, given the sieve it was last year.

    The Rays are a good story, but burdened with playing in the worst stadium in MLB. The Trop has all the baseball ambience of a warehouse, without the charm.

    • I would love to see the Mariners get good again. What a shame that we may never get to see Ichiro play in the World Series. They should have beaten the Yankees in the playoffs that year they won all those games.

      Will you be going to any games this year?

      • bkivey said

        Every year I get anxious that Ichiro will demand to be traded to a team where he has a shot at a Series. He is by far the highest-paid player on the team, and to my mind, worth every penny.

        Amtrak offers packages for games, and it takes about five hours each way on the train. The roundtrip is comparable to the cost of gas, and by summer may well be cheaper. It’s a four-hour drive each way, and you can’t, um, prepare for the game. If there’s a reasonable expectation for a Mariner victory, I’ll probably get to a couple of games.

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