The World According to Keitho

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Tebow time and Gingrich slime

Posted by keithosaunders on December 14, 2011

Few will be surprised that I am not a fan of the Denver Bronco’s second year quarterback, and pain-in-the-ass evangelist, Tim Tebow, but I must admit to a certain how does he do it fascination.  He’s a terrible quarterback.  Sure he’s a good runner, and that’s a handy tool to have, but everybody knows that the successful NFL QBs thrive in the pocket.  Don’t they?

Tebow ranks 27th in yards per pass and 14th in total yards, but somehow, due to a combination of his legs, a brilliant Bronco defense, and good old-fashioned luck, Tebow finds himself poised to take the Broncos to the playoffs.  Last Sunday, rather than the thanking the lord, Tebow should have thanked Marion Barber for not running out-of-bounds, thereby giving the Broncos time to march down the field for a game tying field goal against the Bears.

Tebow is all the rage.  I wonder if he would be so beloved were his name Tim Tebowitz and his post game pressers consisted of long lectures on Talmud.  I take that back — I’m not wondering.  

A Denver defensive lineman had the right idea:   After a pre-season game in which Tebow, then a rookie, suggested the team pray, the defensive lineman responded, “why don’t you shut the fuck up?!”

Yeah!  Who care’s what God thinks about football?  I’m sure he’s got more important things on his mind.  Anyway we all know he’s a Giants fan.

Then there’s the faltering campaign of Mitt Romney, who belong to the religion of which he dare not speak its name.  Much to my amusement the Republican electorate cannot bring themselves to get behind their only viable candidate, thus giving Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul their turn at relevancy.

Newt, who to his credit is trying to run a smear-free campaign, was forced to fire an aide who had suggested that evangelicals were “poised to expose the cult of Mormon.”  While I’m happy to see turmoil in the Gingrich campaign, this puts me in the uncomfortable position of being aligned with evangelicals.  

Of course Mormonism is a cult.  Let  me get this straight:  Christ appeard in upstate New York after the resurrection?!  What, was he appearing in the Catskills at Kutsher’s opening for Shecky Greene? 

Then there’s the proselytizing, the multiple wives, the prohibition of caffeine and alchoh…wait a minute, back up…multiple wives?

Sign me up!       


6 Responses to “Tebow time and Gingrich slime”

  1. zapple100 said

    If the people in Madison Square Garden can cheer for a player that strangled his coach, I think people in Denver would cheer for Tebow if his name was Wafflehead.
    For a guy that’s not that good, it’s amazing how Denver pulls out wins. That should have never won that game against The Bears.
    I thought God used up his last miracle with the 69 Mets. Maybe he still has one up his sleeve. (lol)

  2. artmodel said

    “Then there’s the proselytizing, the multiple wives, the prohibition of caffeine and alchoh…wait a minute, back up…multiple wives?”

    Sounds like Islam to me. But you’d have to throw in suicide bombings and beheadings.

  3. bkivey said

    I’ve worked with and dealt with any number of Mormons, and they have, without exception, been great people. But I do think that their religion qualifies as a cult. Of course, the same qualification applies to Islam, but no ones talking about that.

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