Halloween lights

Driving home from last night’s gig I noticed a new trend. I’m a trend-spotter. All of a sudden people are feeling the need to decorate their houses with Halloween lights. Now what the heck is going on here?

People: Halloween is not a season, it’s a kids holiday. I’m looking at these piddley orange lights and I don’t know whether to feel contempt or pity. LIGHTS ARE FOR CHRISTMAS. What’s next? Thanksgiving lights? Purim lights?!

And listen up: If you are an adult that dresses up for Halloween, and by adult I mean older than 15, then you have some issues that need addressing. Don’t invite me to your costume party because I’ll go…dressed as a hater! I’ll drink your alcohol, eat your little tofurkey, flirt with your guests, and my costume will consists of my faux french beret that only ever gets worn to Deluxe because it brings so much joy to those who see it.  BUT IT’S NOT A COSTUME IT’S MY STUPID BERET.

I’d have more respect for folks if they dressed in drag year round. At least then they wouldn’t be sheep trying to relive their childhood even though in reality they’re washed up and middle aged.

Happy Halloween.