The World According to Keitho

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The jazz militia

Posted by keithosaunders on January 4, 2016

SPIn Oregon a group a militia has exercised their 2nd amendment rights by taking over a federal building in support of a man who protested a $1.50 cattle tax by committing arson.  Strangely enough the U.S. government does not consider this terrorism and thus a standoff has ensued.

Why can’t us jazz musicians have militias? Imagine going into a gig with a black valore open-carry holster and a nice jacket. (because it is a gig, after all) Then on the break, when the waiter snidely tells you to order from the band menu, you look at him with your Clint Eastwood slits for eyes and calmly inform him, “We’re taking over this restaurant. Give me a steak unless you’d like to experience the ass end of the 2nd amendment.”



4 Responses to “The jazz militia”

  1. edwardody said

    At a wedding gig I had once it was written on the itinerary that we would be given food. To set the scene, this is the most expensive I’ve ever been to. Huge mansion house deal in the south of England, ten piece band, singing waiters, the lot. When we’d played our first set, they bustled us behind a screen in the buffet room with no light on and served the smallest plate of sandwiches I’ve ever seen between 11 people (band and sound man) with a choice of cheese and pickle and egg on cheap white bread. We could see the huge buffet the other side of the screen with numerous options. The sad thing is, most of that buffet will have gone in the bin. I worked in a hotel a few years ago and that was always the way. You don’t get served lunch until 3 or 4 in the afternoon after all of the photographs and that have finished so when the buffet gets served at 9 in the evening it only really gets picked at!

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