The World According to Keitho

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Archive for June, 2017

The mind of a musician

Posted by keithosaunders on June 17, 2017

Have you ever wondered how the jazz musician’s creative process works?  The other night I played Freddie Hubbard’s Little Sunflower at a jam session.  Here then is play by play on what went through my head as I played this piece.

D minor
good groove
not as bad as I thought
D minor
2nd 8
liking it
bridge
groovin’
d minor
hey watch that voicing
d minor
groove
d minor
pretty chick in the front
d minor
why are they in the bridge?
ok back on
groove
d minor
wonder how the mets are doing
groove
d minor
d minor
d minor
thank god there are no words to this
d minor
g sus b9 over D
groove
d minor
do I have to do laundry
d minor
will this solo ever end
d minor
this couldn’t be more monotonous
d minor
d minor
except if the rhythm section went into double time samba
d minor
d minor
twice as long d minor
Ok here it comes..
I’m ready
bridge bridge bridge bridge bridge
GOD DAMMIT THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BRIDGE
d minor
d minor
I’m in hell
d minor
shoot me…

 

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Online dating favors the illiterate

Posted by keithosaunders on June 13, 2017

Dating in the internet age is easy, especially if you are young and reasonably good looking.  All you need do is swipe a few times, match with someone who strikes your fancy, and away you go.  In the old days you would have to meet someone, strike up a conversation, and get to know each other before getting up the nerve to go on a date.

I was a short, introverted guy as a teenager and young adult.  I was a jazz musician playing in bars where most people were 10 to 20 years my senior.  I wasn’t in college, consequently I had a hard time meeting women to go out with.

When personal ads became trendy, sometime in the early to mid 80s, I felt that the playing field had somewhat evened out.  Here I could express myself with the written word, alleviating the sometimes painful and awkward step of introducing myself at a bar or party.

Now, with swipe technology, the field has reversed itself.  Once again cosmetics rule the day.  Needless to say, this is bad news for the middle-aged man!

I read an interesting and troubling article in Vanity Fair detailing the current hookup culture prevalent among 20 and 30 somethings.  As a father of a teenage daughter it was disconcerting to say the least.  Some of the men interviewed bragged about sleeping with hundreds of women per year.  For them it’s not a question of if they’re going to hook up, but rather if they feel like it.

It’s horrifying to read about what the women go through.  They are inundated with ‘dick pics’ and what written text they receive does not go far beyond, ‘Can I come over in 20 minutes?’  One man managed to hook up without even typing any words — he sent emojis.

I’ll have more to say about this later.  It’s time to practice the piano.

 

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Mr Met goes rogue

Posted by keithosaunders on June 5, 2017

 

Metsno1

Last week Mr Met, himself, lost his composure.  After a particularly tough Mets home loss, some of the fans began riding Mr Met as he was making his way to the mascot’s clubhouse.  Not only did the fans insult the bulbous-headed mascot, but his mother as well.  Let me tell you something, nobody insults Mr Met’s Mom and gets away with it.  I was impressed that even though Mr Met only has four fingers he still managed to shoot the hecklers a substantial bird.

My photoshopping buddy then combined my love of the Mets with the Stanley Kubrick classic, 2001 a Space Odyssey, to create a work of art.  Enjoy.  And let’s go Mets!

 

 

Mets2001

 

 

Posted in baseball, Mets | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Not enough work and no play makes me a dull boy

Posted by keithosaunders on June 2, 2017

The past five years I have gigged more than I thought humanly possible.  I’m averaging five gigs a week, but there are weeks in which I work every night, and sometimes I will have doubles, plus the occasional triple. Throw in teaching and sundry other projects and it makes for a full schedule.  Not only that, I have to practice every day.

Last week I had three nights off (not in a row) which was a rarity.  You would think I would relish the free time.  Instead I practiced more, took care of some errands, and moped.

The dating sites I’m on are annoying me.  I never knew that so many women were into scuba diving.  I had my friend photoshop me into a scuba diving outfit but it did not help my traffic so I removed it.

The obsession with height confounds me, especially now that we’re into middle age. Why does height continue to matter so much to women?  You would think that by their 40s they would want more substantial qualities in a man, such as intelligence, to name one. By stating that they’ll only see people over 5’10” women have eliminated thousands of possible good matches.  They’re also increasing the chances of dating someone who is arrogant and feels entitled.  Tall men who are reasonably good looking never had to work that hard to get dates, consequently they never had to hone their humor skills, or even feign intelligence.

On the other hand, height aside, I’m not such a great catch.  I work every night – the last thing I want to do on my night off is go out.  Plus, these aren’t corporate dollars that are coming in over here.  My apartment is a shoe box, and as I mentioned before, I’m moody.

Plus I don’t scuba dive.

scuba 2

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