The World According to Keitho

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Archive for July, 2017

Not here for the hookups

Posted by keithosaunders on July 31, 2017

One thing that soon becomes clear while browsing on Tinder is that many, many middle-aged women are not there for the hookups.  I have a problem with that.

It’s that I’m only on Tinder for the hookup.  I am hopeful that I will eventually meet someone, fall in love, and have a long term relationship.  But here’s the thing:  If you go on a date knowing there is zero chance of a sex, you’re removing much of the electricity that comes with that possibility.  Without sexual tension you may as well be hanging out with friends.

Plus, I don’t believe it in setting such rules and boundaries.  We’re adults, and we’ve been adults for decades.  If there is mutual attraction we can handle a spontaneous romp.  Hell, we’ve earned it!

I am hereby swiping left on anyone’s profile that states, ‘no hookups.’ (Unless they say they like Bud Powell.)

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Maverick

Posted by keithosaunders on July 28, 2017

John McCain voted against Donald Trump’s draconian health care bill and once again people are hailing him as a maverick.  I’m happy with his vote but less effusive than most.  He’s got nothing to lose by voting his conscience.  I’m wondering if he was persuaded to come to Washington by moderate Senators who couldn’t afford to spend the political capital.

At any rate it’s remarkable that so many Senators – 49 – would vote for a bill that would essentially deny many Americans health care, defacto condemning a portion of them to death.  These people should rot in hell.

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Swiping left

Posted by keithosaunders on July 25, 2017

Today, while perusing potential Tinder matches, I came across an uber-lady.  She’s into beach volleyball , snowboarding, hiking, water skiing, and she’s been to 70 countries!  She caps off her profile with this old chestnut:  I’m looking for someone who can keep up.

*swipes left.*

It’s not the first time I’ve read this line – it’s hardly original – but each time I see it it inspires a new wave of antipathy.

That’s her criteria?  Not intelligence, warmth, humor, introspection, but somebody who can keep pace with her daily round of incessant activities.

I’ll pass.

 

 

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Keystone Korner

Posted by keithosaunders on July 10, 2017

This past weekend I took part in a 45th anniversary of the great, long-gone San Francisco jazz club called Keystone Korner.  The North Beach club was in existence from 1972 until 1985 – not terribly long by jazz club standards – but long enough to make an indelible imprint on the Bay Area jazz scene.  During its time it played host to the greatest names in jazz – from McCoy Tyner to Stan Getz, Elvin Jones, Art Blakey, Sonny Stitt, Dexter Gordon, and Horace Silver.

This weekend’s celebration featured such luminaries as Azar Lawrence, Gary Bartz, and Charles MacPherson, all of whom still sound great.  I played in the host band, led by tenor saxophonist, Mel Martin.

It was a bittersweet weekend.  I realized that the era of local jazz clubs hosting top touring musicians for six night stints (at affordable prices) is long gone. Sure, New York still has the Village Vanguard, but you would have to practically float a loan to attend it more than once a month.

Furthermore, the Vanguard is very much the exception.  Many cities, San Francisco being one of them, no longer have clubs devoted exclusively to jazz.  Corporate arts centers such as SF Jazz and Lincoln Center help, but do little to foster the sense of a local jazz community.   Not only that, they will rarely host an act for more than a couple of nights.

We have to enjoy our few remaining jazz clubs while we have them.  One day we’ll only have youtube and our memories.

Image result for keystone korner

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My jazz camp adventures

Posted by keithosaunders on July 3, 2017

I have just returned from a week long stint spent as a teacher and performer at a jazz camp in La Honda, California.  La Honda is located deep in the Santa Cruz mountains –  a beautifully  scenic place.  I had a great time teaching, playing, and connecting with old and new friends.

The last day, however, my friend, Michelle, and I had a little disagreement. Nothing that serious, but, well, let me just tell you about it…

We were eating breakfast when I casually mentioned how much I hate scat singing and that no one should be allowed to do it.  Michelle responded, “I don’t give a fuck what you think.” As I was preparing my carefully worded response, Michelle removed some nun chucks from her backpack (that she happens to carry) and cracked me across the knee caps. As I was doubled over on the ground in the fetal position, crying like a little girl, I could hear the sound of a switch blade opening and before I had time to apologize, or beg for mercy, Michelle had slashed open my nose – just like Roman Polanski did to Jack Nicholson in Chinatown!

She stuck me in a wheel barrow and wheeled me to the camp nurse, who told me that she had never seen someone so severely injured at jazz camp. The silver lining is that now my photo hangs on the wall of fame at the jazz camp infirmary.

jazz camp woods

 

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