The World According to Keitho

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Archive for February, 2018

Rise of the Planet of the Relief Pitcher

Posted by keithosaunders on February 28, 2018

And now for some baseball madness.  I was reading a magazine article about the pitcher, Shohei Ohtani, who the California Angels signed during the off season.  Ohtani is a two-way player – a pitcher who can also hit.  Angels manager, Mike Scioscia, commented, we’ll be using Othani to pinch hit, as well as pinch run, since we’ll only have a 3 man bench.

My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.  3 MAN BENCH?!   Is this what baseball has come to?   If this is a harbinger, and I think it is, teams will soon be comprised largely of relief pitchers.

It’s hard to get excited about rule changes designed to speed up the game when managers change pitchers more often than Trump changes cabinet members.  Pitch count clocks are cute and all, but between booth reviews and  6-10 pitching changes a game, the era of the four hour regulation game has arrived.

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Height of the union

Posted by keithosaunders on February 6, 2018

Time for more of my Tinder follies.  What is this fixation that women have with men being taller than they are?  I would say a good 30% of the women’s profiles I view stipulate in no uncertain terms that they expect their dates to be taller than they are.

I’m 5’8″ – 5’11” in heels. 

I like to look up to my date.

Sorry guys, if you’re shorter than I am swipe left. 

Excuse me, is this 2018 or do we still live in Victorian times?   How deflating to realize that even though you have made it to middle age, the Darwinian rules of high school still apply.

Women are sorting their dating pool based on the pituitary gland, thus downgrading seemingly important traits such as personality, humanity, and intelligence.  It’s no wonder we’ve ended up with a Donald Trump as president.  Most people are not introspective, but shallow, vapid, and self-absorbed.

This is bad news for me, since at 57 I’m not going to get any taller.  In fact, I’m shrinking!

Image result for the incredible shrinking man

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