The World According to Keitho

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Archive for the ‘media’ Category

Pledge week

Posted by keithosaunders on January 30, 2017

Let’s have a live look-in on NPR’s winter pledge drive!

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This year why not take the plunge and become a gold member. You’ll receive 2 tickets to SF Jazz, our magazine – Boredom Weekly – and the brand new Keillor-Blocker.

This state of the art console attaches to your listening device to automatically block disturbing Saturday programming such as, A Prairie Home Companion, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, & Look Ma, No Hands.

In their place you can choose from among the following:

Game 6 of the 2003 World Series

Noam Chomsky reads The Pickwick Papers

&

Keitho sings A Love Supreme [in the shower]

Finally it is safe to drive a vehicle on a Saturday.

Hurry! There’s a limited supply.

Posted in media, San Francisco, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Naked Trump

Posted by keithosaunders on August 20, 2016

Naked Trump statues are happening, and apparently in more than one city.  There’s one in the Castro district of San Francisco, as well as four other cities.  That’s what you get when you brag about the size of your penis in the age of the smarmy internet.

That said, I am more amused than offended by the statue. In fact I’m not offended at all.  What has offended me is an incurious, docile media that has treated this man as if he was a serious, qualified candidate.  Too many articles take Trump’s proposed policies seriously rather than question the hubris and sanity of the man.

You’ve got a media that is in the pockets of corporate America, and in Trump, a ratings bonanza.  This is not a good recipe.  It is not in the media’s interest to question the man or to report on an America that is decidedly more racist than was previously imagined.

If all that is left for us plebes is to engage in locker room humor then I say bring it on!

Posted in media, Politics, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

In his cups

Posted by keithosaunders on August 11, 2016

Yesterday somebody climbed Trump Tower using suction cups.  Who could have been so attention starved to have attempted such a stunt?

cruz

Posted in media, Politics, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Pokemon Go-time

Posted by keithosaunders on July 18, 2016

squirtel

I have to say that this Pokemon Go game is really dangerous. Why, I was just playing it the other day when… [Flashback music]

I’m driving to the post office when I hear a beeping coming from my phone…a Charizard! I spring into action. I’m driving into oncoming traffic, onto the sidewalk, just missing pedestrians, and I end up crashing into the dry cleaner’s window.

The next day I’m playing the ap and all of a sudden I find myself in the ladies room. Of course everybody starts screaming, “What the hell are you doing in here, you sicko?  Get Out!”

“But there’s a Squirtel…”

“WHERE?!”

Everyone whips out their phones until we discover him cowering by the XLerator.

I’m really going to have to delete this thing. It’s just not saf…WAIT! There’s one by the PGE transfer station… To the Pokemobile!

 

 

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I’ll believe it when I see it

Posted by keithosaunders on March 24, 2016

I’ve posted before about my ambivalence, nay, my antipathy towards these political videos that are currently running rampant in the wake of the Trump storm.   My politics are to the left of most people I know, (although in the Bay Area I’m a centrist) but these videos offend me.

How is it helpful to portray Trump supporters as moronic backwoods yokels?  Sure, they are a strong demographic for him, but I know he must have supporters who are intelligent and can articulate what they like about him and dislike about the Democrats.

In the case of this particular video it seems the filmmaker has gone out of his way to find the least intelligent people possible.  I don’t see how shaming the right is going to sway a voter who is on the fence.  It’s more likely it would have the opposite effect.

I saw another video in which a reporter interviewed college students asking them who won the civil war.  Of course the video showed 5 people in rapid succession answering ‘The South’ or ‘I don’t know’ but who’s to say the interviewer didn’t ask 90 people and edited in the morons?

I’m not buying this video-happy society we live in.  Yes, folks are generally less intelligent than they were 30 years ago — how could they not be with all the de-funding of education.  But they’re not that stupid!

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Taking my act live

Posted by keithosaunders on March 13, 2016

After my previous post decrying the decay of western civilization through videos I decided to see for myself what it was like to produce to have a video experience of my own.  In the past week I had received a few notices on my Facebook feed about so and so being ‘live.’ I wondered what it was so finally I clicked one of the feeds and there was one of my ‘friends,’ – more like an acquaintance – live and in full pontificating mode.  He was all over the map but mostly he was bloviating about the coming election.

I found it kind of self centered and self-serving.  Until I tried it myself.  Then I thought it was fun.  I donned a beret and took ‘hater’ act live and beta test a five minute rant.

I started off be-scowled,  pontificating about people posting over-produced political videos with the sound track and fancy graphics.  I was segueing into the Academy Awards when I noticed at the bottom of the screen there was a display of who was viewing my feed.  Soon my friends began commenting and that’s when I lost it, breaking character in a fit of laughter.

I have to admit, as much as I hate to, that being live and having an audience was intoxicating.  It was visceral in a way that a written post is not.  The thing is, it’s too easy and the risk of crossing the line from detached, ironic humor into trite, self aggrandizement is too easy.  You’re trying to be funny in the moment and your friends are there — who knows what offensive bon mot may slip from your mouth in the moment. With the written word there’s a good chance you would take stock of what you are writing and edit out something potentially hurtful.

After 5 minutes I realized I was out of gas and said goodbye to my viewing public.  I’ll try to resist over-saturating myself on Facebook, but the lure of the audience is strong.  Pray for me.

pepe

 

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PC oranges

Posted by keithosaunders on March 9, 2016

 

Someone on my Facebook feed posted an article decrying downfall of society as a result of pre-packaged peeled oranges at Whole Food. I would counter that articles like this, which contain headlines that tell us how to think and feel, are what’s wrong with society.

I love how in the middle of the story the writer does a u-turn, talking about the backlash against Nathalie Gordon, the anti peeled-oranges activist: But some people are now pointing their anger at Gordon rather than at Whole foods, arguing that the pre-peeled oranges were helpful to the elderly and people with disabilities. From the looks of it, just as many people are ticked off about Whole Foods pulling the peeled oranges from store shelves as there were people who were ticked off about them being there in the first place.

BAM. A perfectly, but rarely executed, 180 degree PC turnaround!  I didn’t see that one coming.

oranges

Posted in life, media, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Better life through Facebook videos

Posted by keithosaunders on March 8, 2016

I’ll tell you what, I’m sick of everything being videoed and posted on Facebook.  Some middle aged guy rescues a duckling stuck in a chain link fence…WHILE HIS WIFE FILMS IT?! That’s not selflessness, that’s self aggrandizement.

I get that this is an organization that wants to promote kindness to animals…but I don’t care.  If I see a duckling, cygnet, or a baby hippo stuck in a chain link  fence I’ll do my best to set it free.  (well, maybe not the hippo) I’ll tell you one thing I’m not going to do. I’m not going to have my wife film it so that I can brag about what a superior human I am.

In the end what is this video going to accomplish?  You’re either the kind of person who’ll save an animal or you’re not.  No Facebook video is going to serve as a behavior modification tool.  I’d sooner watch a video of this guy having sex with his wife.  Now that’s a cause I can get behind!

 

Posted in life, media, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The war on the war on Christmas

Posted by keithosaunders on November 9, 2015

Starbucks

This is unbelievable.  People are up in arms because Starbucks came out with Christmas coffee cups without pictures of snowflakes or Santa.  REALLY?  The cups have the prerequisite red and green coloring.  What more do you need, baby Jesus drinking an egg nog latte?!  To tell you the truth I’m more offended that these cups get trotted out in early November. We haven’t even had our lousy Thanksgiving meal with all the overrated trimmings that go along with it. (There’s a reason we don’t eat stuffing and cranberry sauce year round)

I am not offended by the Christmas season and all the imagery and hooplah that comes along with it.  I likes me a Little Christmas Carol, Clydesdales tromping around a New England snowscape, and Norelco commercial with Santa riding the razor like a sled.  It’s good clean fun!  What I don’t need is pre-Halloween or Thanksgiving capitalistic Christmas hype.  And by the way, if we’re at War with Christmas then the months from January through October should be called The Christmas Armistice.  (tm)

norelco2

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Groom dancers

Posted by keithosaunders on August 20, 2015

https://fbcdn-video-j-a.akamaihd.net/hvideo-ak-xpf1/v/t42.1790-2/11892782_10153050178321200_708825761_n.mp4?efg=eyJybHIiOjkwNSwicmxhIjo0MDk2fQ%3D%3D&rl=905&vabr=503&oh=9ebb3f931ffc45b25ad758b3599e2640&oe=55D63A0D&__gda__=1440099161_a64afba0b7aebc28a8a9eae982e868e6

Someone posted this on my Facebook feed last night under the heading, ‘ Without a doubt the best groomsmen dance ever.’  I watched a few minutes of the video before clicking off in disgust.  It’s one thing to surprise your bride with a couple of minutes of rehearsed dancing.  It’s cute, precocious, and slightly romantic in a contrived kind of way.  But to make your bride and guests sit through eight minutes of endless, cornball drivel?!  The conceit of it!

You see, this is what I’m talking about with these ‘viral videos.’   These people are out of control. Under the rubric of doing something romantic and selfless for the bride this nimrod has forced his captive audience to endure a two-bit vaudeville act.  And I’ll tell you what he’s doing.  He’s bragging.  This is a classic implementation of the humblebrag.  What is the humblebrag? It’s just as it sounds — one effects a selfless act while in reality drawing the attention to himself.  I see it all the time with musicians on my feed.  “I was so honored to get a chance to play with [insert famous musician’s name here]”  No you were not honored — you were blessed with the opportunity to brag en masse to your Facebook friends.

How much do you want to bet that these cretins forced their guests to travel thousands of miles to some remote location and pay for quaint and expensive B & B on some god forsaken island.  Oh yeah, they’re one percenters without a doubt.  I will have the last laugh however.  I’ll be onhand two years from now while they’re signing their divorce papers.  As they exit the courthouse they will be treated to my flashmob’s version of Cole Porter’s “Get Out of Town.”

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