Last week Mr Met, himself, lost his composure. After a particularly tough Mets home loss, some of the fans began riding Mr Met as he was making his way to the mascot’s clubhouse. Not only did the fans insult the bulbous-headed mascot, but his mother as well. Let me tell you something, nobody insults Mr Met’s Mom and gets away with it. I was impressed that even though Mr Met only has four fingers he still managed to shoot the hecklers a substantial bird.
My photoshopping buddy then combined my love of the Mets with the Stanley Kubrick classic, 2001 a Space Odyssey, to create a work of art. Enjoy. And let’s go Mets!
I’ve always felt that 2001 A Space Odyssey would have been a much better film had I written the screenplay. Take the dawn of man scene, for instance: (In my version the monolith talks.)
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Now let me tell you something you damn, dirty apes…you think you’re hot shit sharing that water hole with these warthogs and antelopes and that rival ape tribe? Well you’re not. If you puke-faced cro magnons would cut out your humble bragging for a second and listen to me, the monolith, you might learn something.
YOU! Yeah I’m looking at you, Moongazer. Grab that bone over there and USE IT AS A WEAPON. Now go kill an antelope and before you know it you will have invented the internet. And cook the meat, for Christs sake. What are you, a Freegan? COOK THE MEAT. How? Do I have to show you nimrods everything?! WITH FIRE.
2001 A Space Odyssey is to Stanley Kubrick what Stairway to Heaven was to Led Zeppelin. (minus the lawsuit) It’s like no other film he ever made. In fact it’s like no other film I’ve ever seen. I have seen 2001 dozens of times and it remains riveting, suspenseful, and mind-bending.
A lot of people find this film boring. There are huge swaths of it with no dialogue — the docking scene at the space station, the scenes in the pod, and of course the psychedelic final 20 minutes of the film.
In fact, much of the dialogue is small talk. (Almost all of the action in the film unfolds in maddeningly deliberate real time.) There’s a scene in the 2nd act of the film in which scientist Heyward Floyd leads a meeting at a space station above the moon. It’s one of the wordier scenes in the film, but most of the dialogue is the exchange of pleasantries between the scientist!
I just finished re-watching the film on a 3 day installment plan. Day one was the dawn of man through the moon sequence. Day two was the beginning of the Jupiter mission through the intermission. Day 3 began with the pod accident. While astronaut Frank Poole is attempting to replace an ‘antenna control device’ he is rammed by his EVA pod, controlled by HAL, the computer, severing his oxygen supply and causing his death. This is one of the most chilling scenes I’ve ever seen in cinema. There is literally no sound in the scene other than Pooles breathing. Once he is rammed the perspective shifts to his fellow astronaut Dave Bowman and the remainder of the scene — Bowman’s attempt to rescue Poole – takes place in silence. This is followed by Bowman having to reenter the ship through the airlock and subsequently deactivate Hal.
The 4th act, the descent into the star gate and the evolution of Dave Bowman, is the most ambiguous and provocative part of the film, but for this time around I enjoyed focusing on some of the more mundane happenings: Bowman receiving a video happy birthday from his parents, the stewardess on the shuttle retrieving a floating, weightless glass of water from a sleeping passenger, and the aforementioned small talk. It was these touches, contrasting with the futuristic and metaphysical, that made the movie realistic, as well as otherworldly.
The World According to Keitho 