The World According to Keitho

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Posts Tagged ‘family’

The night before I moved to New York

Posted by keithosaunders on July 9, 2016

The night before I moved to New York City I walked into the living room to discover my brother sitting by himself on the couch.  I asked him what he was doing there.  A minute went by when he said in a choked voice that he was going to miss me.  After 23 years of sharing a room, fighting for stereo supremacy, arguing over what to watch on TV, and competing in cut-throat, sibling rivalry-infused games of basketball, or whatever sport was in season, we were saying goodbye.  He broke down in tears, as did I, and we stood together in the darkened living room embracing for the first time ever.

The next day I moved to New York City where I remained for the next 26 years of my life before moving back west to Bay Area some six years ago. During that time I met my wife and we had three children.  My brother moved all over the country before settling in Chicago.  There he met his wife and had two children.

Now both of our parents are gone and those days when we were a family with all of the security and angst that went along with it are but a distant memory.  My oldest son, just as I did in my early 20s, has moved to New York City.

Time is moving too fast.

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Cranberry sauce is for the birds

Posted by keithosaunders on November 28, 2015

one cran

OK listen up people. Once again it’s up to me to speak truth to power. Yeah that’s right, I’m referring to the corporate behemoth that is Big Thanksgiving.

You might be thinking, this is great, I’ve got 4 days off beginning with a feast at Auntie Gladys.’ You’re wrong. There are 3 football games that you are libel to miss for the sake of eating the most overrated foods known to man.  For a bonus you can throw in nonstop humblebragging from family.

Let’s face it folks, turkey is a dry, tasteless bird that when prepared well is passable at best, but the rest of the traditional Thanksgiving meal is a culinary travesty.

I mean, yams? They’re nothing more than a sickly sweet gooey mess.  Just because a food is orange doesn’t make it good.  I like my vegetables bitter, like my outlook on life.

There’s a reason we don’t eat stuffing year round with chicken: IT TASTES LIKE CARDBOARD THAT’S BEEN RUN OVER BY A BUS.

And cranberry sauce? How about no!  Again, don’t ruin my dinner with sweetness.   (see the above photo for my Thanksgiving dinner allotment of cranberry sauce)

Which brings me to desert.  Pecan pie is OK but I defy anyone to tell me that pumpkin pie is more desirable than chocolate cake .  It isn’t – we all know that.


keith cran

Here I am being force fed cranberry sauce.


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