The World According to Keitho

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Posts Tagged ‘humblebrag’

2016: The worst meme ever

Posted by keithosaunders on December 28, 2016

The latest sickening internet trend is the conceit that a random grouping of 365 days is a sentient being.  This is especially true on Twitter where people are trying to one up each other for the whiniest tweet.  Here’s an example:

So so sad to hear about the death of Carrie Fisher. 2016 has taught us one hell of a lesson.. don’t take anyone for granted! Hurry up 2017!!

I guarantee you I can pick any year and find just as many celebrities that died. Here is a list of notable deaths in 1955:

Albert Einstein, James Agee, James Dean, and most tragically, Shemp Howard of the Three Stooges.

Charlie Parker died in 1955. Bam. 1955 is exponentially worse than 2016.

Again, it’s all about the humblebrag. RIPing  Prince, Carrie Fisher, or ________________________ makes you seem like a sensitive individual, but the effect is to draw attention towards yourself and away from the deceased.

There is nothing new about the  gratuitous social media RIP, but this year came with a new wrinkle:  The anthropomorphism of 2016.  As if a year is a sentient being and that somehow 2017 will be more benevolent.

If I might offer a suggestion, try a different calendar. Why not go by the Chinese calendar? Or give the Jewish calendar a shot. Or the Mayan. It couldn’t hurt.

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Humble-bragging: The musician’s best friend

Posted by keithosaunders on January 19, 2016

I can’t stand a humble-bragger.  As a musician, my Facebook feed is filled to the brim with humble-bragging.  I can’t turn around without reading, “I was humbled to have played with [insert great musician’s name here].”  No, in fact you are not humble, you are a blowhard.

The worst is when someone famous dies.  An internet R.I.P. is the humblebragger’s catnip. If an H.B. has anything remotely to do with a recently deceased celebrity he’ll have a post up before the cadaver has cooled.  The idea of eulogizing someone on social media whom you have never met is repugnant enough, but to use it as an excuse for self aggrandizement is pathetic.

I’m sure the H.B. is not germane to the music business.  The internet is built on the backs of porn and humble-bragging.  The next time someone famous dies check your social media feed.  I’ll guarantee you will uncover some bragging thinly disguised as a eulogy.

R.I.P. tact.

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Enough with the kinder

Posted by keithosaunders on September 26, 2015

I suppose it was inevitable that as Facebook and the humblebragging that goes along with it have become ubiquitous so have videos of children precociously doing or saying adult things.  Today I saw a video of a young European girl playing the drums along to Led Zeppelin’s Black Dog. She had all of John Bonham’s fills down and you can tell she was coached thoroughly and that she was probably a quick study.  Except that it doesn’t matter.  All it proves is that she has above average concentration.  She didn’t create anything and to be honest she didn’t even groove.

I saw a video of two pre-teens dancing a sensual mambo.  They were resplendent in Cuban drag and they had all the steps down.  Impressive?  Not to me.  In fact I found it a little creepy having these two youngsters ape a sex-infused dance.

Then there are the pre-teen jazz musicians.  Listen to that kid wail on Giant Steps.  Wow!  But here’s the thing:  An important facet of improvisation is telling your story – it is the musical equivalent of your life’s experience.  What experience does a 10 year old have?  I would hope not much!

Parents, we know what you’re trying to do.  Congratulations, you have a ‘gifted kid.’ Now that your passive aggressive humblebrag is complete, how about tamping down your zeal and letting your kids be kids.

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Groom dancers

Posted by keithosaunders on August 20, 2015

Someone posted this on my Facebook feed last night under the heading, ‘ Without a doubt the best groomsmen dance ever.’  I watched a few minutes of the video before clicking off in disgust.  It’s one thing to surprise your bride with a couple of minutes of rehearsed dancing.  It’s cute, precocious, and slightly romantic in a contrived kind of way.  But to make your bride and guests sit through eight minutes of endless, cornball drivel?!  The conceit of it!

You see, this is what I’m talking about with these ‘viral videos.’   These people are out of control. Under the rubric of doing something romantic and selfless for the bride this nimrod has forced his captive audience to endure a two-bit vaudeville act.  And I’ll tell you what he’s doing.  He’s bragging.  This is a classic implementation of the humblebrag.  What is the humblebrag? It’s just as it sounds — one effects a selfless act while in reality drawing the attention to himself.  I see it all the time with musicians on my feed.  “I was so honored to get a chance to play with [insert famous musician’s name here]”  No you were not honored — you were blessed with the opportunity to brag en masse to your Facebook friends.

How much do you want to bet that these cretins forced their guests to travel thousands of miles to some remote location and pay for quaint and expensive B & B on some god forsaken island.  Oh yeah, they’re one percenters without a doubt.  I will have the last laugh however.  I’ll be onhand two years from now while they’re signing their divorce papers.  As they exit the courthouse they will be treated to my flashmob’s version of Cole Porter’s “Get Out of Town.”

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