The World According to Keitho

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Posts Tagged ‘internet’

Online dating favors the illiterate

Posted by keithosaunders on June 13, 2017

Dating in the internet age is easy, especially if you are young and reasonably good looking.  All you need do is swipe a few times, match with someone who strikes your fancy, and away you go.  In the old days you would have to meet someone, strike up a conversation, and get to know each other before getting up the nerve to go on a date.

I was a short, introverted guy as a teenager and young adult.  I was a jazz musician playing in bars where most people were 10 to 20 years my senior.  I wasn’t in college, consequently I had a hard time meeting women to go out with.

When personal ads became trendy, sometime in the early to mid 80s, I felt that the playing field had somewhat evened out.  Here I could express myself with the written word, alleviating the sometimes painful and awkward step of introducing myself at a bar or party.

Now, with swipe technology, the field has reversed itself.  Once again cosmetics rule the day.  Needless to say, this is bad news for the middle-aged man!

I read an interesting and troubling article in Vanity Fair detailing the current hookup culture prevalent among 20 and 30 somethings.  As a father of a teenage daughter it was disconcerting to say the least.  Some of the men interviewed bragged about sleeping with hundreds of women per year.  For them it’s not a question of if they’re going to hook up, but rather if they feel like it.

It’s horrifying to read about what the women go through.  They are inundated with ‘dick pics’ and what written text they receive does not go far beyond, ‘Can I come over in 20 minutes?’  One man managed to hook up without even typing any words — he sent emojis.

I’ll have more to say about this later.  It’s time to practice the piano.

 

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Posted in life, media | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Naked Trump

Posted by keithosaunders on August 20, 2016

Naked Trump statues are happening, and apparently in more than one city.  There’s one in the Castro district of San Francisco, as well as four other cities.  That’s what you get when you brag about the size of your penis in the age of the smarmy internet.

That said, I am more amused than offended by the statue. In fact I’m not offended at all.  What has offended me is an incurious, docile media that has treated this man as if he was a serious, qualified candidate.  Too many articles take Trump’s proposed policies seriously rather than question the hubris and sanity of the man.

You’ve got a media that is in the pockets of corporate America, and in Trump, a ratings bonanza.  This is not a good recipe.  It is not in the media’s interest to question the man or to report on an America that is decidedly more racist than was previously imagined.

If all that is left for us plebes is to engage in locker room humor then I say bring it on!

Posted in media, Politics, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Happy NCD!

Posted by keithosaunders on April 13, 2016

Well I can’t believe it’s finally here – the holiday we’ve been anticipating and planning for all of these months.

HAPPY NATIONAL CARPET DAY!

Now I know that we all want to have enjoy this day to its fullest potential, but please folks, for Gods sake, be safe!

carpet

Posted in life, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | 5 Comments »

National whatever day

Posted by keithosaunders on April 12, 2016

I’m sick of these made-for-internet holidays.  Sunday was National Sibling Day followed by Monday’s National Pet Day.  Now come on, folks. don’t kid a kidder. THESE AREN’T REAL HOLIDAYS.  They serve as excuses for narcissists to post photos of themselves, and humble-brag about their pets.

As someone who wouldn’t mind if Thanksgiving were cancelled, the addition of a myriad of new holidays is causing me no end of stress.

Well, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.  I have hereby created, and am proud to introduce to you a new holiday.  Henceforth April 12th shall evermore be known as, National Lamp Day.

Have a joyous, festive Lamp Day, and above all, be safe!

lamp.jpg

Posted in life, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

The curse of the viral video

Posted by keithosaunders on August 5, 2015

It’s been two consecutive days of posting. Tomorrow I go for the trifecta and if I’m able to pull it off we’ll know that Keitho is really back!

Between facebook, youtube, twitter et al the viral video has become a staple of the online world. Along with attempts at glib humor often comes a didactic slant.  Not only is the joke telegraphed, but in the process we are told what we should think and how to react.  In other words, there’s no need to form an opinion of your own — it’s already been formed for you.  This is true of intenet magazines as well.  Check out just about any article in Salon and the slant will be telegraphed within the first two sentences.  I’m politically aligned with Salon yet I detest their reporting. I find it fatuous and pandering.

This poor slob parked in a handicapped spot.  Sure it’s a douchey thing to do, but come on, the punishment is way out of proportion to the crime.  What’s wrong with a ticket?

Assuming this video is real, which I don’t, where is the comedy?  It’s as a laugh track was added in order to clue us in on the joke. I’ve got news for these snot-nosed would-be film-makers: It wasn’t funny when they used it in I Dream of Jeannie and it isn’t funny today.

Here’s my fantasy handicapped parker viral video:

Scene:  Man emerges from a store to find his car encased in paper mache.  Crowd laughs and points.  Man becomes increasingly more frustrated when he realizes the paper will not easily peel off.  Man goes to his trunk and takes out an 8 foot paintball gun and open fires on the crowd.

Now that’s comedy!

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