The World According to Keitho

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Posts Tagged ‘love’

The dating pool

Posted by keithosaunders on November 22, 2016

Well folks, I’m recently single.  Again.  I had a girlfriend for four years, but, as fate would have it, we broke up.  Now I’m out here in the wild and let me tell you something, it’s rough.

First of all I’m old as fuck – 56.  This is a weird age.  People 10 years younger look a lot younger and people 10 years older look a lot older.  Over half of the people are married and another quarter of them are in committed relationships.  That leaves 25%.

Then you have to account for the fact that although society has evolved throughout the years in many ways, women will not, for the most part, date men that are shorter than them.  I can’t tell you how many profiles I’ve seen that specify, I’m 5’8, please be taller than me.

But here’s the thing:  I could understand if you would want someone to be the exact same height as you so that when you make love you can kiss easily.  But taller, shorter, what’s the difference?!  You’re going to be askew either way.  Love making takes some finagling – that’s the fun of it!

Think about it:  Tall guys have an exponentially greater dating pool to choose from.  They can date short women, yet short guys can’t date tall women.  On the other hand, tall women must have a smaller dating pool.  But who cares, I’m not a woman.

So forget income inequality, the real travesty is dating inequality!

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It begins

Posted by keithosaunders on October 27, 2015


shea

[Droning arco bass note]

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth but the earth was formless and darkness was over the surface.And God said, ‘Let there be light.’

On the second day he created the sky and on the third day he created the land.

And on the fourth day he said, ‘Screw this, I’ve got light, sky, and land, now I’ll create a little team from Flushing called the NEW YORK METS!!!!!!!!!’ (but first I’ll create Flushing)

So it must be said, so it must be done!

And on the 5th day he created GO TIME.

OH YEAH, LADIES, IT’S YOUR 2015 WORLD SERIES STARRING THE GREATEST TEAM EVER, THE METS!!!!

[crowd noise] HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LET’S GO METS, LET’S GO METS. I BLESS METS, I BLESS METS!!!!

CASEY STENGAL
MARV THORNBERRY
RICHIE ASHBURN
ROGER CRAIG
TOMMY AGEE
TOM SEAVER
DON CLENDENON
MR MET
GERRY GROTE
NOLAN RYAN
CLEON JONES
JON MATLACK
TUG MCGRAW
WILLIE MAYS
DUFFY DYER
KEN BOSWELL
LEE MAZILLI
FELIX MILAN
JOEL YOUNGBLOOD
DAVE KINGMAN
RUSTY STAUB
GEORGE FOSTER
NEIL ALLEN
KEITH HERNANDEZ
RON DARLING
GARY CARTER
DOC GOODEN
DARYL STRAWBERRY
HOWARD JOHNSON
KEVIN MCREYNOLDS
GREGG JEFFREYS
DAVE MAGADAN
BOBBY BONILLA
VINCE COLEMAN
MACKEY SASSER
JEFF KENT
ANTHONY YOUNG
BENNY AGBAYANI
JOHN FRANCO
JON OLERUD
CARLOS DELGADO
JOSE REYES
DAVID WRIGHT
JACOB DEGROM
JERYS FAMILIA
CESPEDES
YOU GET THE PICTURE….

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