The World According to Keitho

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Posts Tagged ‘Newt Gingrich’

The right of the dial

Posted by keithosaunders on February 10, 2012

I spent the last weekend in Las Vegas visiting my father.  Having grown up in Brooklyn and Queens, my Dad is a lifelong Giants fan, and since my regular Sunday gig was cancelled due to the game, I decided to make the trek down to watch it with him.

This is the third time I’ve made the drive from the Bay Area to Vegas.  It is a deceptively long drive.  If you could drive on a direct angle from Berkeley to Vegas it would probably be a six or seven hour trip.  Thanks to the Sierra Nevada range, however, this is impossible.  You have to drive south to Bakersfield on I 5, cut over east on a 150 mile mountain pass road — rt 58 — and finally, at Barstow, turn North onto I 15.  It is a nine-hour drive, that is if you don’t stop.

Fortunately I love driving.  I’m an animal behind the wheel and can drive great distances without tiring.  All I need are some good sounds to spur me on and I’m happy.  I’ve driven cross-country on two consecutive years, with a third trip looming this summer as my oldest boy is going to be going to school back east.

After the game (and what a game!) I decided to drive home rather than have to wake up at 5AM the next morning.  I had to be back by Monday night for a gig and I knew I could make great time at night.

I know enough to pull over when I’m tired.  It’s amazing how effective a ten minute cat nap can be.  I ended up needing to take two of them — one at 2Am, and the other at 4AM.  I arrived home safe and sound at 5:30.

About halfway through the drive I decided to take a break from my ipod and tune in to some right-wing radio.  I expected to become upset while listening to their vitriol, but in the end I only felt a sense of bemusement and pity.

I mean, they’ve got nothing.  Literally nothing.   All they have to talk about is their hatred of Obama, and their love of the lord.  Obama is a socialist, and the lord is their savior.

I feel sorry for them.  They don’t want to talk about Romney — they hate him.  They’re embarrassed by Gingrich, because

a) he’s too smart for them

and

b) his checkered history disturbs them.

Ron Paul is too liberal for them, and even these nutcases realize that Santorum has no shot.

One host claimed to know exactly when Armageddon was coming, but you had to buy his book to find out when and how.  I’m sure it would be a great read but I’m going to save my thirty bucks.

I ended up staying with right-wing radio for a good hundred miles.  I couldn’t turn away.  It was extremely entertaining.

Posted in football, life, media | Tagged: , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Tebow time and Gingrich slime

Posted by keithosaunders on December 14, 2011

Few will be surprised that I am not a fan of the Denver Bronco’s second year quarterback, and pain-in-the-ass evangelist, Tim Tebow, but I must admit to a certain how does he do it fascination.  He’s a terrible quarterback.  Sure he’s a good runner, and that’s a handy tool to have, but everybody knows that the successful NFL QBs thrive in the pocket.  Don’t they?

Tebow ranks 27th in yards per pass and 14th in total yards, but somehow, due to a combination of his legs, a brilliant Bronco defense, and good old-fashioned luck, Tebow finds himself poised to take the Broncos to the playoffs.  Last Sunday, rather than the thanking the lord, Tebow should have thanked Marion Barber for not running out-of-bounds, thereby giving the Broncos time to march down the field for a game tying field goal against the Bears.

Tebow is all the rage.  I wonder if he would be so beloved were his name Tim Tebowitz and his post game pressers consisted of long lectures on Talmud.  I take that back — I’m not wondering.  

A Denver defensive lineman had the right idea:   After a pre-season game in which Tebow, then a rookie, suggested the team pray, the defensive lineman responded, “why don’t you shut the fuck up?!”

Yeah!  Who care’s what God thinks about football?  I’m sure he’s got more important things on his mind.  Anyway we all know he’s a Giants fan.

Then there’s the faltering campaign of Mitt Romney, who belong to the religion of which he dare not speak its name.  Much to my amusement the Republican electorate cannot bring themselves to get behind their only viable candidate, thus giving Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul their turn at relevancy.

Newt, who to his credit is trying to run a smear-free campaign, was forced to fire an aide who had suggested that evangelicals were “poised to expose the cult of Mormon.”  While I’m happy to see turmoil in the Gingrich campaign, this puts me in the uncomfortable position of being aligned with evangelicals.  

Of course Mormonism is a cult.  Let  me get this straight:  Christ appeard in upstate New York after the resurrection?!  What, was he appearing in the Catskills at Kutsher’s opening for Shecky Greene? 

Then there’s the proselytizing, the multiple wives, the prohibition of caffeine and alchoh…wait a minute, back up…multiple wives?

Sign me up!       

Posted in football, Politics | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

The thrilla from Wasilla

Posted by keithosaunders on January 28, 2011

Every time Sarah Palin opens her mouth she lowers the bar as to how asinine a public figure can appear.  I feel unclean simply reading her comments.  That such a large segment of the population supports her positions and take her seriously as a pundit is a tribute to the permeation and success of reality TV. 

Her latest missive was delivered in response to  Barack Obama’s state of the union speech in which he unveiled the slogan, “Winning the Future.”  Here are Palin’s comments:

His theme last night in the State of the Union was the “WTF,” you know, “Winning the Future.” And I thought, “OK, that acronym, spot on.” There were a lot of “WTF” moments throughout that speech, namely, when he made the statement, Greta, that he believed that we can’t allow ourselves to, I guess, eventually become buried under a mountain of debt. 

How many hours do you suppose did it take her team to come up with the idea of taking a corny political slogan and turning it into a vulgar joke.  With Pailn you have someone who ostensibly aspires to the presidency, and here she is, in so many words, saying ‘what the fuck.’  I’m assuming that this is her attempt at appealing to the younger generation.  She’s speaking their language!  The language of the internet. 

The trouble is that it’s neither funny nor clever.  It comes across as facile and smarmy.  Furthermore, she delivered the line in the syntax of a caveman. 

“That acronym spot on.”  

 Sarah want be president.  She talk common language. 

In an era of dumbed down politicians that strive to appeal to the working class, Palin is an abomination.  Newt Gingrich, Mike Huckabee, and Mitt Romney may be rotten as the day is long but they are intelligent people who deliver their ideas in complete, cogent sentences.  

Palin is incapable of critical thinking.  She has shrewdly capitalized on her fifteen minutes of fame.  Her folksy demeanor has resonated with a small but fervent segment of the population, but for most of us her act is wearing thin.     

I’ll say this for Palin.  She has done what I once thought was impossible – she’s made Geroge W. Bush appear introspective.

Posted in Politics | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »