Welcome back NFL

You know what?  Concussions and all, the NFL is still the best sport.

While it’s true that on any given Sunday one may have to endure penalty-marred games and the insipid booth reviews, for the most part these games are over and done with within three hours.  Unlike baseball which forces you to sit through the delicate-genius managers changing pitchers every other batter, football is succinct and to the point.

The NBA and NHL regular seasons are jokes, containing little, or no meaningful games.  While baseball’s regular season retains some integrity,  with the addition of wildcard teams, truly meaningful pennant races are rendered mute.  You would think, with all the extra teams potentially in post season contention, there would be more intrigue in September.   More often than not, however, the divisions are decided long before October.

This leaves football, with its tight, 16 game schedule.  I enjoy the rhythm of the autumn sports week where you can enjoy taking in the sports radio and newspaper hype, gradually working yourself into a frenzy.  You spend the week looking forward to Sunday or Monday night.  You’re like a caged animal waiting to be set free.

This is what life is about.

 

1958

In the meantime I’ve read a great book – The Glory Game –  by former NY Giants running back, Frank Gifford about the 1958 NFL Championship game between the Giants and the Colts.  This was the game that is considered to have put the NFL on the map on its way to sports supremacy.

Now talk about salaries:  Most of these players were earning less than $10,000 a year – well less.  Many of the players couldn’t afford their own apartments, doubling up in dorm like rooms in a Bronx Hotel a few blocks up from Yankee Stadium where they played their home games.

They played 12 game seasons. The league was divided into two conferences consisting of six teams.  There were no playoffs!  In 1958 the Giants finished in a tie with the Cleveland Browns so they, in fact, did have to play a playoff game which they won on a last second field goal by Pat Summerall.  (yes, that Pat Summerall)

My father, who recently passed away, went to the Championship game with my Uncle Herb. It was played on December 28th at Yankee Stadium.  They didn’t have tickets — they decided on the spur of the moment to go.  Imagine a world in which you can take a subway to a stadium where a championship game is being played, walk up to the box office, and buy a ticket.  That’s what they did.  They probably paid $5.00.  (incidentally, my best friend, who lives in the Bronx, tells of doing the same thing for the 1976 World Series between the Yankees and Reds)

The Giants started off shaky with sloppy offense and porous defense.  Gifford, never known as a good ball handler, fumbled twice and as a result the Giants found themselves down 14-3 at the half.  In the second half the Giants turned it around and took the lead 17-14.  A late Giant drive stalled out at their own 40 and with 4th and inches and 2:30 to go in the game coach Jim Lee Howell elected to punt. A first down would have put effectively put the game away for the Giants.

After a punt the Colts took over on their own 14 and that’s all Unitas needed.  He proceeded to engineer one of the great drives in NFL history, picking apart the tired New York defense.  The drive ended in a 20 yard field goal as the clock expired in regulation forcing the very first overtime game in NFL history.  No NFL game to that point had ever gone overtime.    Don’t forget, up until the 1980s if a regular season game ended in a tie it was over.  There was no sudden death overtime — there were ties.  So when the clock ran out the players didn’t know what they were supposed to do!

The Giants won the coin toss and elected to receive.  Don Maynard, who would later go on to win a Superbowl with the Jets, muffed the kickoff return but recovered his own fumble.  Regardless, the Giants went 3 and out and punted.  The Colts took over on their own 20 and once again Unitas put together an epic drive culminating in a Alan Ameche touchdown.

Some people consider this the greatest game ever played.  All I know is that my Dad was there and that I have the program to prove it.

 

Behind the black curtain

Each time I see one of those NFL refs disappear behind the black curtain to review a play I wonder what he’s actually looking at.  I mean, what is behind the curtain?

I’m picturing a Times Square-esque Show World setup circa 1984.  

The ref steps behind the curtain and instead of a TV monitor he finds a coin operated machine.  He pops two bits into the slot and an automated window slowly rolls open to reveal a sultry naked lady. 

In the meantime we home viewers are treated to expert analysis by some former ref in a Los Angeles TV studio.  “This is what will happen, yadda yadda yadda…”    

The ref does his business, exits the booth, and announces to the crowd…

(all together now)

AFTER FURTHER REVIEW, THE PLAY STANDS.

Super Bowl memories: Part II

The 1980s and ’90s were an era of Super Bowl routs.  You can count the compelling games on one hand.  Whether it was the Buffalo Bill’s four-peat of futility, the reaming of the Denver Broncos, or the one-off pratfalls of the Chargers and Falcons, it was an era of lopsided spectacles.  I watched them all.

Super Bowl XXII — San Diego

Redskins vs Broncos

I watched the game at my Aunt Ellie’s and Uncle Herb’s in downtown Brooklyn, USA.  My friend Jeff and I volunteered to bring over food from the 2nd Ave Deli in the East Village.  We didn’t count on the fact that every Jew in New York had that same idea, and we ended up missing practically the entire 1st quarter.  By the time we arrived Denver was ahead 10-0 and had concluded the scoring portion of their afternoon.  Before we had finished our corned beef sandwiches, Doug Williams had thrown four 2nd quarter touchdown passes and the game was, at least for this blog’s purposes, over.

Super Bowl XXIII – Miami

49ers vs Bengals

A rematch of Super Bowl XVI.  This time I was couch-side for the action.  Once again Jeff and I found ourselves at Ellie and Herb’s, this time joined by cousin Alan.  This was one of the few good games of this era, capped off by a late 49ers drive to give them the victory.  After the game the normally mild-mannered Herb lost his temper.  All day long he had been doing the slow-burn because Alan, upon arriving, had taken his shoes off, and Herb hated feet.  When Herb’s repeated attempts to get Alan’s attention failed, he finally lost it, exploding in a rage of invectives — an eventful end to an action-packed day.

Super Bowl XXIV — New Orleans

49ers vs Broncos

The first of many Super Bowls I would watch at Jeff’s house in the Bronx.  I had a gig in Connecticut so Jeff taped the game.  Somehow I made it back to Jeff’s without having discovered the score.  What followed was a good old-fashioned blood-letting.  52-17 Niners.

Super Bowl XXV — Tampa

Giants (!) vs Bills 

Jeff scored tickets to this game, but I had a gig at a restaurant called Camelback and Central on the East side, with the singer, Richard Lanham, and was unable to go.  Thank god there was a TV there and I was able to see most of the action, most notably the Giant’s clock-eating 3rd quarter drive, the Bill’s 4th quarter scoring drive, and the subsequent Scotty Norwood missed field goal.  20-19 Jints!  

Super Bowl XXVI — Minneapolis

Redskins vs Bills

Don’t be fooled by the final score, which was 37-24 Redskins.  This game was 24-0 at the half and going nowhere fast.  I’ll give you $100.00 if you can name the Redskins quarterback.  Time’s up!   Mark Rypien.  The game was so forgettable I don’t even remember where I was.

Superbowl XXVII — Pasadena

Cowboys vs Bills

The Cowboys had become good again but more importantly for them, they played the Bills.  I watched the game in my Long Island City apartment (I was living in Queens by then) with my wife, Debra.  Final score:  52-17.  Ouch.

Super Bowl XVVIII — Atlanta

Cowboys vs Bills   

I went to Fort Lauderdale, Florida with my wife to visit my in-laws.  My parents flew in from Las Vegas to join us.  My brother, who was living in Orlando at that time, drove down to Ft Lauderdale to complete the family affair.  I watched the game mostly with my Dad and brother.  I say ‘mostly’ because midway through the 1st quarter my father in law sat down, watched one series of plays, and declared that Dallas would win the game.  He then left the room and we didn’t see him until dinner later that evening.  It turned out he was right.  30-13 Boys.

 Super Bowl XXIX — Miami

49ers vs Chargers

How ironic that with all of the supposedly great Chargers teams of recent history, their one actual Super Bowl team was a forgettable squad quaterbacked by, of all people, Stan Humphries.  Stan who?!    I had a gig at Trumpets in Montclair New Jersey and missed most of the game.  Good thing, too.  The 49ers romped.  What’s that I hear?  The 49ers just scored again!

Super Bowl XXX — Tempe

Cowboys vs Steelers

Not a bad game compared to the array of clunkers that preceded it.  Final score 27-17 Dallas.  I watched the game at my LIC pad with my wife, one year old son, Jake, and cousin Alan who had free reign to take his shoes off. 

Super Bowl XXXI — New Orleans

Packers vs Patriots

I watched the game with Alan’s poker cronies at the apartment of Dan Afariat (The Afarianator) on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.  At halftime a poker game broke out.  I drank too much beer, and all I recall is losing a large amount of money.  This was my pre anger management days and I ended up screaming at poor Alan.

Super Bowl XXXII — San Diego

Broncos vs Packers

Viva Las Vegas!  I was visiting my parents in Vegas and watched the game with my Dad.  The Broncos finally won one.

Super Bowl XXXIII — Miami

Broncos vs Falcons

DRG.  That stands for Don’t Remember Game.  This was Elway’s swan song.  He was da winnah.

To be continued…

 

Seahawks give it!

On Saturday the Seattle Seahawks pulled off the upset of the year beating the defending champion New Orleans Saints 41-36.  In the wake of the upset I hope I hope the NFL doesn’t mess with their playoff rules, preventing under .500 teams from qualifying.  True, the seedings are now skewed, but this is what makes sports worth watching — the unpredictable and the wacky.  This is the first time in over 80 years that a sub-.500 team has made the playoffs and I wouldn’t expect it to happen with any regularity. 

The Seahawks actually beat the Bears in week 6 of the regular season.  I’ll be rooting for them to knock off an inconsistent, yet consistently boring Bears team , thus putting the fear of God into the NFL (and myself)  of a Patriots-Seahawks Superbowl.  How about Jets-Seahawks?  We can dream, can’t we?

Grannypack

I was watching last Monday night’s Jets debacle with my 13 year old son when he asked, “Hey Dad, why do they wear the granny-packs? 

Granny packs?

“Those things around their waists.  You know, man-purses.”

I gave a closer look and sure enough about half of the Jets offense were wearing granny-packs.  What, I wondered, could possibly be inside?  Extra mouthpieces?  Steroids? 

We noticed that the Patriots players weren’t wearing them.  Had Bill Belichick instituted a strict no granny-pack policy?  Perhaps this is the secret to their dominance.  No distractions.  Focus! 

The other thing I’ve noticed is that every team has at least one lineman who is so large that you wonder where he could possibly find work outside of the NFL or the Los Angeles Clippers.  It’s amazing how big some of them are.  300 pounds is svelte these days.  They move remarkably well for their size.  They are quick, agile, and not to be trifled with.  I can’t help wondering what kind of wear and tear a body that size endures.  It can’t be pretty.

Finally, it must be a rule that every team has to have at least one player with Troy Polamalu hair.  You know what I’m talking about– the long, flowing curly locks billowing out of the helmet.  At first Polamalu was the only guy with that look.  Now even my grandfather has it.  It’s like, remember when Telly Savalas and Yul Brynner were the only completely bald guys you had ever heard of?  These days bald is a look.  Come to think of it, this actually bodes well for me.

Who loves ya, baby?!

And now for some Thanksgiving weekend taping foibles

My friend, Jeff Mazzei, and I have spent many a fine afternoon recounting taping foibles; that is failed attempts at setting the VCR timer.  Yes, you read correctly, VCR.  I’m old school, baby!  Some of these anecdotes were recounted here.  As a kind of coda to the Thanksgiving weekend I present to you two more taping foibles of a most recent vintage.

Today I awoke to the good news that my New York Giants were getting some Bay Area television play.  This was a by-product of the hapless Raider’s inability to sell out their stadium.  The Raiders had a late game against Miami.  If that game had sold out it would have been televised in this market, thereby necessitating an early FOX game.  (the Giants were at home vs the AFC Jacksonville Jaguars which put them on CBS)  Instead we were treated to an early CBS game, the Giants, and a late FOX game, the Eagles vs da Bears.

I had an early brunch gig in San Francisco so I quickly sprung into action, setting my DVR (yes, I have moved into the 21st century) to record the Giants.  I checked and double checked and everything seemed to be in order.  I went to the gig without a worry in the world.

I arrived at the gig to find that there was a TV in the bar showing the Giants game.  No worries.  We were playing in a different part of the restaurant and the other musicians didn’t seem to sports fans.  Wrong.  The trumpet player arrived and quickly announced that he was the first cousin of David Girard, the Jaguar quarterback.

What are the odds?  You tape a game and end up playing a gig with the cousin of the quarterback of one of the teams you are taping!  Needless to say the trumpet player kept going into the bar to check on the score and he was not shy about letting us know that the Jaguars were kicking butt.  (they had an early 17-9 lead) 

By the first break I had abandoned all hope of avoiding the score so I happily joined the trumpet player in the bar for some third quarter action.  The Jags had the ball and were driving when the Giants D came up big for a stop.  A punt pinned the Giants at their own 10 and I boldly announced that they would drive 90 yards for the tying touchdown and two point conversion.  And they did.  We had to go back to work and by the time we finished the Giants had a 24-20 comeback win.  I wish I could have seen the entire game but at least I had a brush with greatness. 

Now for the rarest of rarities:  A taping non-foible!  Here it is in Jeff Mazzei’s own words.

Here’s my taping tale.  I opted to not tape any of the Thanksgiving games on the assumption that I’d hear or see the scores anyway, and I was getting back Sunday for the live games.  [Jeff was on vacation in Cape May, NJ]  I wound up seeing the 2nd half of the Dallas game which was real good.  I decided I’d just try to find the Jet highlights or read about it in Friday’s paper.  To this moment in time (Sunday), I have not been able to find out a thing about that game.  The taping gods mock me.

 This is the bitter irony that befalls the taper.  When you try to avoid the score you end up playing a gig with the quarterbacks’ cousin , but when you really want a score it is nowhere to be found.  Good day.

I have a dream: A world without booth reviews

Sometimes it feels like I’m on an island.  I am the only one I know who would be happier if the NFL did not use instant replay.  For years we got along without it and we did just fine.  In fact, if you asked to name one important game that was lost due to lack of instant replay I would be stumped.

To be honest I don’t care if the refs get it right or not.  All I want is for the game to keep moving.  I have confidence that the refs are professional enough that they will call the play called correctly over 90% of the time.  That’s enough for me.

How many times are you enjoying an exciting game only to have it interrupted to decide whether or not both of the receiver’s feet were inbounds?  Not only does the game come to a grinding halt but we are then subjected to at least a half-dozen replays.  Not to mention the mind-numbing speculation by the announcer as to the ruling.   By the time the ref gets his ass out from behind the curtain I don’t even care if the call is reversed.  I just to see more of the damn game.

Worse still is when the game gets down to the final two minutes of the 2nd and the 4th quarters, at which point the refs upstairs decide if a play is reviewable.  They always err on the side of caution;  they will call for a booth review if the left tackle so much as sneezes. 

Under the current system it stands to reason that half of the time the call is going to go your way, meaning in favour of the team you’re rooting for, and the other half of the time you’ll be disappointed.  Wouldn’t it be exactly the same without replay?  Sometimes a bad call will go your way, sometimes it won’t.  The only difference is that without replay the game moves at a much faster pace. 

Human error is part of life.  Sometimes imperfections give it character.  I don’t care if Max Roach speeds up and I also don’t care if Chad Ochocinco is inbounds or not!

Still some Giant steps to take in 2010

So far this season the New York Giants look like the class of the NFC.  They have been relatively injury free and their defense looks like night and day compared to last season’s porous mess.  Eli Mainning is having a dream season, and in Hakeem Nicks he’s found a target to replace Plaxico Burris. 

We will soon find out just how serious the Giants are.  They have yet to play the Eagles, who now feature a healthy and lethal Michael Vick.  Also remaining on the schedule are dates with the Vikings, who at appeared to be revitalized last week with a dramatic come-from-behind win over the Cardinals.   They also play the Packers which very well could decide who gets home field advantage throughout the playoffs.  Throw in two dates with the Redskins, and one with Jacksonville and you have one tough second half of a season.  Ironically, the only gimme on the schedule is this week’s home game against the feckless Cowboys. 

Fasten your seatbelts.

How many wins can you spot?

Yesterday the Raiders and the Chiefs played what had to be one of the wackiest games of the NFL season.  It was a game that featured two fake punts, a pooch punt, over 30 penalties combined between the two teams, and some crazy reffing.

In the first half Chiefs had a 3rd down play at the Raiders 4. They completed a short pass in which the receiver appeared to spin and fall into the endzone.  The Raiders challenged the ruling saying his knee was down on the 1.  They won the challenge but the refs forgot to give them the 1st down, calling it 4th and 1!  The next play also looked like a touchdown (running) but there was a Chiefs penalty.  The refs ruled 4th and goal at the 11 and the Chiefs coach was on the sidelines going ballistic.  The refs got together and realizing their mistake changed it to 1st and goal.  For a minute it looked like they were going to disallow the previous play and rule it at the 1, but they didn’t.  The upshot — a great catch by a Chiefs receiver who just barely stayed in bounds in the back of the endzone.  7-0 Chiefs.

Down 20-17 with just over 6 minutes left in the 4th quarter the Raiders had to gut out a comeback to force an overtime.  After one failed drive they were able to regain the ball with just over 2 minutes remaining and no time outs.  What would a Raiders game be without penalties, and this last drive was no exception.  With 1st and 20 and less than 30 seconds to go Jason Campbell threw a lollypop that receiver Jacoby Ford somehow managed to pluck from two defenders for a 30 yard gain, setting up the tieing 40 yard field goal.  The Chiefs were stopped in the first overtime possession and the Raiders, thanks to another Campbell to Ford completion — a 47 yard diving catch —  were able to kick the winning field goal.

This was the Raiders most meaningful win in years, putting them a 1/2 game behind the Chiefs for the division lead, but this could well be their season’s high point.  I just checked their remaining schedule and it is brutal.
 
Let’s play how many wins can you spot?  I think it would be easier to find Waldo in this list.  I can see one, maybe two wins —  I’m giving them the Denver and Miami games.   
 
Sunday, November 21 @ Pittsburgh
Sunday, November 28 Miami 

Sunday, December 5 @ San Diego
Sunday, December 12 @ Jacksonville
Sunday, December 19 Denver
Sunday, December 26 Indianapolis
Sunday, January 2 @ Kansas City

 

Finally, check out my esteemed fellow blogger, Zapple, to hear about the truly bizarre overtime coin toss.