Baseball’s one percent

Anyone who doubted that baseball, in its current form, is a soulless affair I offer you exhibit A:  The Los Angeles Dodgers.  Here is a team, arguably having their greatest regular season in their 134 year history, that felt the need, with 6 weeks remaining in the season, to add Curtis Granderson to their already stacked roster.

Exhibit B is the New York Mets, a team not two years removed from a World Series appearance, who are now in fire-sale mode.

Baseball as it exists today is a microcosm of our capitalist society. The best talent congeals to form super-teams such as the Dodgers, Redsox, Yankees, and Golden State Warriors.  Money begets money.  The rest of the league – the have-nots – can be content with playoff appearances and the occasional Cinderella season, to be followed by the inevitable selloff once their young talent reaches free-agent eligibility.

Enjoy.

Durant to the Warriors

Maybe the Warriors can get LeBron too. Why stop at Kevin Durant? All the stars should congeal on one team which will save us the time of having to watch regular season games. We’ll tune in during June for the Dream Team exhibition Finals while the one per centers enjoy their corporate luxury suites.

I’m just about at the end of my rope with sports which has turned into a corporate, joyless cesspool full of overpriced arenas, arrogant, over-paid athletes, and tedious replay reviews. The only thing that keeps me going is inertia – I’ve been watching practically my entire life and old habits are difficult to break.  That, and I’d like to see the Mets win one more time.

The toughest thing will be what to talk about in social situations and on gigs.  I’m going to have to come up with an entire new set of topics.  Comic books anyone?  How about basket weaving instead of basketball.

Humble-bragging of the rich and famous

Greetings from Paris, 

With warm Holiday Wishes to you and yours. Should we still be in New York, we would certainly attend your consistently enjoyable celebration.

We have moved our home fires to the City of Light and are purchasing a wonderful corner apartment, on the oldest street in the city, with a view of Notre Dame.

Please be thoughtful enough to extend our best wishes to the kind staff who served us so well for so many years.

Merry Christmas to all of our friends at 69 [insert 5th or Park Ave address here]

File this email under ‘First world problems.’  This was an RSVP to an invitation to an annual work party.  It was probably only meant for the host but it ended up being cced to the entire mailing list.

The stakes of the one percent humble-brag are high, my friends.  I mean, how is one to top a corner apartment overlooking Notre Dame?  On the oldest street in the city!  We’re talking old money, here, not some trendy nouveau riche address in Bastille.

The cherry on top is how [they] ‘extend best wishes to the kind staff who served us so well for many years.’  How big of them!  I’m sure the staff will miss hearing about their winters in Palm Beach or their madcap skiing weekends in Aspen.

Someone shoot me now.

Annnnnd I’m back

March 12th, 2011 is the date of my last post.   What happened to me? First of all my laptop died rendering me without a keyboard.  In addition, I have experienced the greatest surge in business in my life and am now gigging 5-7 nights a week, in addition to teaching.  Lest you begin to think that I have become a one percenter let me remind you that this is the music business we’re talking about – specifically the jazz business.  I remain, albeit happily, ensconced in my 500 square foot apartment with hot and cold running   pretzels.

So how about those republicans?  Since I’ve been away they’ve managed, through their batshit crazy hijinx, to put themselves in a position where it will be damn near impossible to win a national election.  But conservatives need not despair for the Democrats have become the new Republicans.  Data mining, wiretapping, and endless war will see to it that we the people remain in a constant state of subservience to the conservative ideal.

On the music front the scene has devolved into asking friends, family, and strangers for handouts to fund  projects such as recording dates, concerts, and by virtue of the tip jar, club gigs.  And it’s not just music I’m referring to.  I’m getting ready to kickstart a project to dress my dog in authentic period clothing of La Belle Époque.  It’s out of control!

In sports replay is all the rage.  How we, as a society were able to endure over 100 years of World Series without definitive proof of the accuracy of umpires calls is beyond me.  No matter, baseball, with its inevitable move to instant replay is hell-bent on sucking the final iota of soul that remains in this once proud game.  Any sport that boasts Joe Buck as its number one announcer would have problems, even sans McCarver.  The addition of interminable booth reviews to the 2014 season could be the tipping point to this fan’s tolerance of post season ball.  The thought of Buck having an additional 20% of air time to fill is horrifying to say the least.