I have just returned from a week long stint spent as a teacher and performer at a jazz camp in La Honda, California. La Honda is located deep in the Santa Cruz mountains – a beautifully scenic place. I had a great time teaching, playing, and connecting with old and new friends.
The last day, however, my friend, Michelle, and I had a little disagreement. Nothing that serious, but, well, let me just tell you about it…
We were eating breakfast when I casually mentioned how much I hate scat singing and that no one should be allowed to do it. Michelle responded, “I don’t give a fuck what you think.” As I was preparing my carefully worded response, Michelle removed some nun chucks from her backpack (that she happens to carry) and cracked me across the knee caps. As I was doubled over on the ground in the fetal position, crying like a little girl, I could hear the sound of a switch blade opening and before I had time to apologize, or beg for mercy, Michelle had slashed open my nose – just like Roman Polanski did to Jack Nicholson in Chinatown!
She stuck me in a wheel barrow and wheeled me to the camp nurse, who told me that she had never seen someone so severely injured at jazz camp. The silver lining is that now my photo hangs on the wall of fame at the jazz camp infirmary.
The World According to Keitho 