The World According to Keitho

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Posts Tagged ‘sports’

Welcome back NFL

Posted by keithosaunders on September 10, 2018

You know what?  Concussions and all, the NFL is still the best sport.

While it’s true that on any given Sunday one may have to endure penalty-marred games and the insipid booth reviews, for the most part these games are over and done with within three hours.  Unlike baseball which forces you to sit through the delicate-genius managers changing pitchers every other batter, football is succinct and to the point.

The NBA and NHL regular seasons are jokes, containing little, or no meaningful games.  While baseball’s regular season retains some integrity,  with the addition of wildcard teams, truly meaningful pennant races are rendered mute.  You would think, with all the extra teams potentially in post season contention, there would be more intrigue in September.   More often than not, however, the divisions are decided long before October.

This leaves football, with its tight, 16 game schedule.  I enjoy the rhythm of the autumn sports week where you can enjoy taking in the sports radio and newspaper hype, gradually working yourself into a frenzy.  You spend the week looking forward to Sunday or Monday night.  You’re like a caged animal waiting to be set free.

This is what life is about.

 

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Posted in football | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Buh bye Giants

Posted by keithosaunders on October 12, 2016

At last I can begin to enjoy the playoffs now that this even year garbage has been put to bed.  Once again push button, corporate managing ruled the day and this time it came back to bite Giants manager Bruce Boche in the ass.

Matt Moore had well exceeded the sacred number of 100 pitches – the number that no major league pitcher , regardless of size and make-up shall be allowed to exceed, lest his career be struck dead by the God of sore arms.  The Cubs could not touch Moore but it was their good fortune that delicate genius, Bruce Boche, saw to it that they received their fair chance to score somes runs.  What a gentleman!

Out came the parade of relievers.  In modern day baseball lefties can only get lefties out.  Except, that is, when they walk them.  Binc binc binc, leftie, righty, lefty, righty, leftie, righty and the Cubs win.   Fly the W!

The Cubs, who have a delicate genius manager of their own in Joe Madden, could be ripe to be taken in the next round, hopefully by the Dodgers –  I’m sick of these douche teams advancing.  I’m looking at you, Nationals.

In the meantime the Giants can grab there crying towels, on sale at Target, and lick their wounds until next April.

 

crying-towel

Posted in baseball, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Durant to the Warriors

Posted by keithosaunders on July 4, 2016

Maybe the Warriors can get LeBron too. Why stop at Kevin Durant? All the stars should congeal on one team which will save us the time of having to watch regular season games. We’ll tune in during June for the Dream Team exhibition Finals while the one per centers enjoy their corporate luxury suites.

I’m just about at the end of my rope with sports which has turned into a corporate, joyless cesspool full of overpriced arenas, arrogant, over-paid athletes, and tedious replay reviews. The only thing that keeps me going is inertia – I’ve been watching practically my entire life and old habits are difficult to break.  That, and I’d like to see the Mets win one more time.

The toughest thing will be what to talk about in social situations and on gigs.  I’m going to have to come up with an entire new set of topics.  Comic books anyone?  How about basket weaving instead of basketball.

Posted in basketball, sports, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Halloweaning

Posted by keithosaunders on October 31, 2011

Halloween has slipped way down on my depth chart of holidays — it’s still above Purim, but it’s fallen below Columbus Day.  I am the Ebenezer Scrooge of Halloween.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved it as a kid, and I am all for kids having a ball on this candy-laden night.  Trick or treating  is one of our finest traditions, and I, along with the dentists of America, am a hearty proponent of it.

It’s the adults I can’t take.  You mean to tell me that I, a grown man, and a middle-aged one at that, have to go through the stress and ageda of purchasing, or putting together a costume because you invited me to your Halloween party? 

How about no?!

Here’s the thing:  If I’m going to go through the trouble of preparing a costume, and feigning interest in your costume, then the party had better damn well end in an Eyes Wide Shut style orgy or I’m not going! 

You mean I’m supposed to preen around like I’m some kind of extra in a Cecil B. Demille film for three damn hours when I could be home watching the damn Stanford game?!  I don’t think so.

But…since I am a reasonable man, I will make a concession.  You want me at your midlife-crisis kiddy party?  Fine.  Set up a room with a damn TV in it and tune it to the fucking game.  That way when I get tired of prancing around, which will probably take about five minutes, I can have a safe room to escape to.

Oh, and can you put a keg of beer in there too?  Thanks.   

Bah, humbug, put the f***ing game on!

Posted in life | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »