The World According to Keitho

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Posts Tagged ‘Times Square’

Waiting for the ball to drop

Posted by keithosaunders on January 1, 2016

Earlier this week I told my friend that I wouldn’t be hate posting re New Years Eve because it was too obvious. Consider that to be my last broken promise of 2015.

Just how much of a moron do you have to be to schlep out to Times Square, stake out a 2 square foot patch of concrete, and wait hours in sub-freezing temperatures to watch a plastic ball drop a few feet?

It’s bad enough that you’re standing in the asshole of New York City. It’s a cesspool of capitalistic corporate, kitsch, and you have willingly planted yourself there amidst the drunk Long Island and Jersey Broncos and Broncettes, not to mention the pickpockets and Aqualung-style dirty old perverts. And to do it for no good reason?!

It boggles the mind that people would do this on the most cynical, contrived holiday there is. Don’t feign irony now. DON’T PLAY THAT. It’s a corny holiday. At least us musicians get paid for going out on 12/31. I don’t care if I play the Chicken Dance & a 40 minute conga line song. At the end of the night I’m driving home with fat stacks of cash! We don’t need an excuse to drink; it can be go time on Jan 2nd, what do we care?

NPR weighed in this afternoon with a hard-hitting feature on the guy who is in charge of organizing throwing the confetti from the Times Square buildings. With Paul Simon-esque acoustic guitar music playing in the background this nimrod breathlessly described the minute planning and intricacy that goes into confetti-throwing. “…and when it’s 20 seconds to midnight I speak into my walkie-talkie: Go confetti, go confetti, go confetti!

Happy fucking New Years everyone.

Posted in life, New York City, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Behind the black curtain

Posted by keithosaunders on October 20, 2011

Each time I see one of those NFL refs disappear behind the black curtain to review a play I wonder what he’s actually looking at.  I mean, what is behind the curtain?

I’m picturing a Times Square-esque Show World setup circa 1984.  

The ref steps behind the curtain and instead of a TV monitor he finds a coin operated machine.  He pops two bits into the slot and an automated window slowly rolls open to reveal a sultry naked lady. 

In the meantime we home viewers are treated to expert analysis by some former ref in a Los Angeles TV studio.  “This is what will happen, yadda yadda yadda…”    

The ref does his business, exits the booth, and announces to the crowd…

(all together now)


Posted in football | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »