The World According to Keitho

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Posts Tagged ‘Twitter’

Ship B Sinkin’

Posted by keithosaunders on February 16, 2017

The subject of my post is, admittedly, wishful thinking, but anytime I have the opportunity to quote the great Knick, Michael J. Richardson, I jump at the chance.

Less than a month into the Trump administration it is in a disarray of epic proportions.  Just perhaps, and I’m going out on a limb here, it might have been best to hire people who had some actual experience working in government.  At any rate, this miserable group of generals and billionaires are by any measure rotten to the core and we, the people, are going to have to batten down the hatches to make it through the next four years.  Is there a class I can take in battening?

With Michael Flynn’s resignation the first domino fell.  He was on the phone with Russia more often than I call my bookie, but I’ve said too much!  There isn’t a chance in hell that he acted on his own but the question is will a public grown accustomed to suckling on the teat of 140 character tweets have the attention span for a Watergate-esque scandal.

Just to be on the safe side I’m brushing up on my Prokofiev sonatas.

trump-putin-puppet

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2016: The worst meme ever

Posted by keithosaunders on December 28, 2016

The latest sickening internet trend is the conceit that a random grouping of 365 days is a sentient being.  This is especially true on Twitter where people are trying to one up each other for the whiniest tweet.  Here’s an example:

So so sad to hear about the death of Carrie Fisher. 2016 has taught us one hell of a lesson.. don’t take anyone for granted! Hurry up 2017!!

I guarantee you I can pick any year and find just as many celebrities that died. Here is a list of notable deaths in 1955:

Albert Einstein, James Agee, James Dean, and most tragically, Shemp Howard of the Three Stooges.

Charlie Parker died in 1955. Bam. 1955 is exponentially worse than 2016.

Again, it’s all about the humblebrag. RIPing  Prince, Carrie Fisher, or ________________________ makes you seem like a sensitive individual, but the effect is to draw attention towards yourself and away from the deceased.

There is nothing new about the  gratuitous social media RIP, but this year came with a new wrinkle:  The anthropomorphism of 2016.  As if a year is a sentient being and that somehow 2017 will be more benevolent.

If I might offer a suggestion, try a different calendar. Why not go by the Chinese calendar? Or give the Jewish calendar a shot. Or the Mayan. It couldn’t hurt.

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The clown car has arrived

Posted by keithosaunders on July 21, 2016

The Republican convention, which will conclude tonight with a speech by the potential OOTUS (Orangutan of the United States) has not disappointed.  Outside Cleveland’s Quicken Loans Arena you have cops and media outnumbering protesters by an impressive margin, but inside the Arena is where the real crazy people are.

On Monday night Melania Trump gave a speech and we awoke Tuesday morning to the news that large chunks of it had been plagiarized from Michelle Obama’s 2008 convention speech.  The media erupted in a swarm of indignation and outrage, but can I say something?  Who cares!  So she pilfered a few lines from the first lady.  Here’s a news flash:  It’s not a rare thing for potential first ladies to speak about family values or their husbands leadership ability.

What irks me the most about this [non] scandal is you can just picture some smarmy millennial on his iphone googling away until he uncovered the ‘scandal of the century.’  I guaranteed you this kind of thing has happened before but nobody cared.

Now we all owe a debt of gratitude to Lyin’ Ted Cruz for making our Wednesday night entertainment-packed.  Cruz’s speech, in which he failed to endorse Donald Trump, while delivering the opening salvo of his 2020 campaign, was like the high school kid getting his revenge on the school bully.  My hat is off to him.  He provided the image of the convention:  The Trump family standing in shocked disbelief, frowning and scowling.

I can’t wait for tonight.

 

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Humble-bragging: The musician’s best friend

Posted by keithosaunders on January 19, 2016

I can’t stand a humble-bragger.  As a musician, my Facebook feed is filled to the brim with humble-bragging.  I can’t turn around without reading, “I was humbled to have played with [insert great musician’s name here].”  No, in fact you are not humble, you are a blowhard.

The worst is when someone famous dies.  An internet R.I.P. is the humblebragger’s catnip. If an H.B. has anything remotely to do with a recently deceased celebrity he’ll have a post up before the cadaver has cooled.  The idea of eulogizing someone on social media whom you have never met is repugnant enough, but to use it as an excuse for self aggrandizement is pathetic.

I’m sure the H.B. is not germane to the music business.  The internet is built on the backs of porn and humble-bragging.  The next time someone famous dies check your social media feed.  I’ll guarantee you will uncover some bragging thinly disguised as a eulogy.

R.I.P. tact.

Posted in jazz, life, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The smarm offensive

Posted by keithosaunders on September 5, 2015

Thanks to the proliferation of social media as well as blogs such as this one, we live in a smarm society, one where mean-spirited sarcasm is used for political gain.  Nowhere is this more evident than in the web magazine, Salon. Nary a headline is posted that fails to tell me which opinion is right and which is wrong.

Here are some examples:

Donald Trump humiliates himself on conservative radio. 

No, Christians you’re not being persecuted, and Kim Davis is not a martyr.

The media’s breathless email scandal reaches new nadir.

At this point I’ll disclose that I am as liberal as they come, yet this kind of didactic, mean spirited, snarky reporting is as offensive to me as Fox news.  How are liberal publications any different then reactionary rags such as the New York Post? I would expect more from them, but what it boils down to is they attempt to be as sensationalistic as possible in order to garner readers.

Here is a particularly smug photo caption that someone posted on my Facebook feed.

I agree with most everything the caption says yet I had a viscerally negative reaction to this smug propaganda. What does Occupy Democrats hope to gain by this?  If I was a left leaning Republican this cloying, self-aggrandizing ad would almost certainly not sway me to vote Democrat. On the contrary it might inspire to urinate on Occupy Democrat headquarters.

To sum up:  Dems we’ve had a good run and things are marginally better than they were in the first eight years of the 21st century.  Now shut the fuck up!

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